Postby Shadowfax » Tue Oct 16, 2007 1:27 pm
Ok, it's not a pet, but here's another good laugh for those of you who have enjoyed the life-altering *joy* of graduate school!
GRADUATE SCHOOL BARBIE (tm)
Graduate School Barbie comes in two forms:
Delusional Master's Barbie (tm) and Ph.D. Masochist
Barbie (tm).
Every Graduate School Barbie comes with these fun
filled features guaranteed to delight and entertain
for hours:
* Grad School Barbie comes out of the box with a big
grin on her face that turns into a frown after 2 weeks
or her first advisor meeting(whichever comes first).
* Adorable black circles under her delightfully
bloodshot eyes.
* Comes with two outfits: a grubby pair of blue jeans
and 5 year old gap T-shirt, and a floppy pair of gray
sweatpants with a matching "Go Screw Yourself"
T-shirt.
* Grad School Barbie talks! Just press the button on
her left hand and hear her say such upbeat grad school
phrases like, "Yes, Professor, It'll be done by
tomorrow" "I'd love to write it all over again" and
"Why didn't I just get a job, I could have been making
$40,000 a year by now if I had just started working
with a Bachelor's. But noooooo, Mom and Dad
wanted a masters degree, I wish somebody would drop a
bomb on the school so that I'd have an excuse to stop
working on my degree that's sucking every last drop of
life force out of my withered and degraded excuse for
a soul..." (9 V lithium batteries sold separately)
* Grad School Barbie is anatomically correct to teach
kids about the exciting changes that come with
pursuing a higher education.
Removable panels on Barbie's head and torso allow you
to watch as her cerebellum fries to a crispy brown,
her heart race 150 beats per minute, and her stomach
lining gradually dissolve into nothing.
Deluxe Barbie comes with specially designed eye ducts.
Just add a little water, and watch Grad School Barbie
burst into tears at random intervals. Fun for the
whole family!
Other accessories include:
* Grad School Barbie's Fun Fridge (tm) Well stocked
with microwave popcorn, Coca-Cola, Healthy Choice
Bologna (99% fat free!),and small bottle of Mattel
Brand Rum (tm).
German Shepherd/Collie -- Smokey
Appendix Quarter Horse -- Solaris
Cats -- Jasper and New Kitty (Nemo is never forgotten, RIP special boy)
Irian Jaya BTS -- Maya
Crested Gecko -- Miko