The reason one can't look to defensive people for top-quality relationships is that such relationships require two human beings. But defensive people don't think like humans. They think like reptiles. I mean this literally. Beneath the elaborate neural structures that mediate our subtle social interactions, we all possess what scientists call a reptilian brain. This ancient biological structure, which evolved in reptiles, isn't capable of nuanced emotion or logical thought. Its primary driving force is fear. Two fears, to be specific.
The first worry of all reptile brains (including yours and mine) is "I don't have enough!" Not enough love, money, food, credit, glory—the subject of our deprivation obsessions varies, but the theme "not enough" pounds away like a monotonous drumbeat. The only thing as loud to the reptile ear is its other major concern: "Someone's out to get me!" An HDP (highly defensive person) perceives threat coming from lots of sources; one day the Enemy may be a coworker, the next a relative, the next an entire nation. But to the reptile brain, someone, somewhere, is always about to attack.
This makes evolutionary sense. Lizards live longer if they obsessively acquire more food, shelter, and mates, and if they expect predators to jump them at any moment. Sadly, however, reptiles are blind to nondefensive emotions; to the glow of love, the tickle of amusement. The only thing playing on their mental screens, all day every day, is The Lack and Attack Show. The same is true of HDPs. When humans are gripped by primal fear, they become their inner lizards—and HDPs are virtually always gripped by primal fear.
So the best relationship you can hope to sustain with a defensive person is the sort you might have with a reptile. As a doctor here in Arizona once explained to a man who was bitten on the lip while kissing his pet rattlesnake (it made the newspapers), you simply cannot expect a loving connection from a reptile, even if you raised it from the egg. Remembering that these people are basically giant talking lizards will keep you from futilely trying to please them, persuade them or explain yourself to them.
Interesting article (kinda long)
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Interesting article (kinda long)
Here is a portion of an article about defensive behavior in some people. Read on and you'll see why this particular article struck my curiosity. What do you reptile lovers think of this take on things? Although, I believe some of it to be fact, I beg to differ with some of this writer's opinion...
- SailleSkinklover
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I frankly think the person who wrote that is talking totally out of their arse.
Now this is IMHO, because I don't have all the information, only what was posted here as a quote. I don't know the instance or reason for the article.
In view of what I read however, there is no basis of fact for what they are talking about, other than their own personal bias and experience. Hence, its these defensive people as viewed through the article writer's eyes and perceptions, not objectively.
Probably some person with their own fear issues with herps!
Now this is IMHO, because I don't have all the information, only what was posted here as a quote. I don't know the instance or reason for the article.
In view of what I read however, there is no basis of fact for what they are talking about, other than their own personal bias and experience. Hence, its these defensive people as viewed through the article writer's eyes and perceptions, not objectively.
Probably some person with their own fear issues with herps!
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You could say that about any animal. Gathering food and avoiding danger is a very basic and very obvious instinct for any living thing, not just reptiles. and not just defencive people.
I'd bet you almost anything this person had just come out of a relationship with an untrusting parter.
Not overly bothered with being compared to a reptile, but being told i'm incapable of loving is a bit harsh.
I'd bet you almost anything this person had just come out of a relationship with an untrusting parter.
Not overly bothered with being compared to a reptile, but being told i'm incapable of loving is a bit harsh.
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- mom22wins
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Yeah, I wasn't too thrilled with these statements either.
So many animal lovers are really mammal lovers. I think people tend to judge reptiles by comparing them to mammals. How can someone say what an animal feels or doesn't feel emotionally?
I admit that Sammy will never truly "love" me like a dog or cat might. But in her own way, she has incorporated me into her life and is familiar with me. Similar to the way my cockatiel (bird) was. She doesn't just tolerate being handled. I think she actually looks forward to it. (Mainly because of my warmth and because she knows she's getting out for a while when I pick her up.) But that surely shows me that she can think and is intelligent in her own right. Not that I know for sure, but I like to think Sammy is content and comfortable and isn't that a form of happiness? Certainly contentment is an emotion, is it not?
So many animal lovers are really mammal lovers. I think people tend to judge reptiles by comparing them to mammals. How can someone say what an animal feels or doesn't feel emotionally?
I admit that Sammy will never truly "love" me like a dog or cat might. But in her own way, she has incorporated me into her life and is familiar with me. Similar to the way my cockatiel (bird) was. She doesn't just tolerate being handled. I think she actually looks forward to it. (Mainly because of my warmth and because she knows she's getting out for a while when I pick her up.) But that surely shows me that she can think and is intelligent in her own right. Not that I know for sure, but I like to think Sammy is content and comfortable and isn't that a form of happiness? Certainly contentment is an emotion, is it not?
- SailleSkinklover
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I'd say definitely, contentment is an emotion. Its a feeling of well-being and wholeness, belly full, body warm, and feeling over-all secure with the world in that moment. And I have no doubt that in their "reptilian way", Blueys have the capabillity to be very comfortable in their humans' presence. Whether that translates to what we perceive as love is anyones guess!
I totally think the author of that article has their own issues that they are projecting out onto the world. I would like to hold a mirror up to the author and tell them to take a good long look at what they believe the ultimate "defensive" person looks like!
When people are "defensive", it because they have trust issues and have likely been deeply hurt very early on in life. They feel threatened by people like "the author" because they probably feel that they are constantly being judged in some way.
It has to do with insecurity.
Life is about being insecure sometimes. We are only "full" of food temporarily, temperatures change from cold to hot, time moves on. As physical beings, we have to adapt to and take care of these situations as they arise. Its part of haveing a physical, biological body.
I totally think the author of that article has their own issues that they are projecting out onto the world. I would like to hold a mirror up to the author and tell them to take a good long look at what they believe the ultimate "defensive" person looks like!
When people are "defensive", it because they have trust issues and have likely been deeply hurt very early on in life. They feel threatened by people like "the author" because they probably feel that they are constantly being judged in some way.
It has to do with insecurity.
Life is about being insecure sometimes. We are only "full" of food temporarily, temperatures change from cold to hot, time moves on. As physical beings, we have to adapt to and take care of these situations as they arise. Its part of haveing a physical, biological body.
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The logic doesn't fly: reptiles don't conceptualize "I don't have enough." They are either hungry or not hungry. If hungry, they are seeking food. But if they are not hungry, they're not looking to stockpile food. So I call :bs:.
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Appendix Quarter Horse -- Solaris
Cats -- Jasper and New Kitty (Nemo is never forgotten, RIP special boy)
Irian Jaya BTS -- Maya
Crested Gecko -- Miko
- SailleSkinklover
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Hahaha,, I agree, Shadowfax!
Besides, How does the author "know" firsthand how a reptile even thinks, if they themselves are not a reptile!
:bs:
Besides, How does the author "know" firsthand how a reptile even thinks, if they themselves are not a reptile!
:bs:1.0. Merauke, Chuff Chuff
0.1.1 Irian Jayas, Nubbin, Marley
0.0.1 Northern, Hobbes
3.1.0.1 White Lined Geckos,CrazyHorse, Dad, Itchy, little female
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1.1.2 African Fat Tails, Burger Butt, Galaxy,t he kids
1.1.0.2 Tokays, Niles, Lillith
0.1.1 Irian Jayas, Nubbin, Marley
0.0.1 Northern, Hobbes
3.1.0.1 White Lined Geckos,CrazyHorse, Dad, Itchy, little female
7.10.17 Crested Geckos, HELP!
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I didn't bother to read anything except the first line and the last paragraph, but I think that this author needs to reconsider their blanket statements. Not to mention, there is absolutely no way to generalize what animals think or feel. More than that, we also can't prove that warm blooded animals understand/maintain more personable relationships. It is easier for people to anthropomorphize something that has fur, but that doesn't mean that they're actually thinking the things that we attribute to them.
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- Shadowfax
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SailleSkinklover wrote:Hahaha,, I agree, Shadowfax!
Besides, How does the author "know" firsthand how a reptile even thinks, if they themselves are not a reptile!![]()
![]()
:bs:
Or.......are they??
And Zach........I think that just puts Eug on the short bus, if you know what I mean.

German Shepherd/Collie -- Smokey
Appendix Quarter Horse -- Solaris
Cats -- Jasper and New Kitty (Nemo is never forgotten, RIP special boy)
Irian Jaya BTS -- Maya
Crested Gecko -- Miko
Appendix Quarter Horse -- Solaris
Cats -- Jasper and New Kitty (Nemo is never forgotten, RIP special boy)
Irian Jaya BTS -- Maya
Crested Gecko -- Miko
- mom22wins
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I wish I could say this was supposed to be a humorous piece, Nomad. Unfortunately, I got it from the MSN site that pops up before I click on my hotmail email. They always have articles that give "advice" and this one was telling you how to deal with overly-defensive people and while I found it interesting, I still think it's just someone's opinion. A non-reptile loving someone... 
- SailleSkinklover
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Who writes this bunk? I want that job, getting paid the big bucks for voicing my biased and non-factual brain-spewings on MSN for any poor person to read!
There's loads I could spew forth opinions about, but I'd probably get kicked out of the country! or Off the planet!
(and I really like this planet!
)
There's loads I could spew forth opinions about, but I'd probably get kicked out of the country! or Off the planet!
(and I really like this planet!
1.0. Merauke, Chuff Chuff
0.1.1 Irian Jayas, Nubbin, Marley
0.0.1 Northern, Hobbes
3.1.0.1 White Lined Geckos,CrazyHorse, Dad, Itchy, little female
7.10.17 Crested Geckos, HELP!
0.1.0 Leachie, Francis
1.2.0 Gargoyles, Everton, Ant, Juicebox
1.1.2 African Fat Tails, Burger Butt, Galaxy,t he kids
1.1.0.2 Tokays, Niles, Lillith
0.1.1 Irian Jayas, Nubbin, Marley
0.0.1 Northern, Hobbes
3.1.0.1 White Lined Geckos,CrazyHorse, Dad, Itchy, little female
7.10.17 Crested Geckos, HELP!
0.1.0 Leachie, Francis
1.2.0 Gargoyles, Everton, Ant, Juicebox
1.1.2 African Fat Tails, Burger Butt, Galaxy,t he kids
1.1.0.2 Tokays, Niles, Lillith
- mom22wins
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SailleSkinklover wrote:Who writes this bunk? I want that job, getting paid the big bucks for voicing my biased and non-factual brain-spewings on MSN for any poor person to read!![]()
There's loads I could spew forth opinions about, but I'd probably get kicked out of the country! or Off the planet!![]()
(and I really like this planet!)
Yeah, I like you on this planet too Saille. lol I wish I could find the article again but MSN replaces them everyday and I guess the articles go to the article trash pile...
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