Quigly is dead.

[Lucifer_Spades]

I was woke up last night by my daughter at 3:30am, I had forgotten to latch her door when she went to bed. She gets up in the middle of the night and gets into trouble if I don't.

I cleaned up the mess from the cake she had dragged to her brothers room, but her and her brother back to bed, latched her door and went to bed.

This morning I woke up and went to let her out, I unlatched her door and went to go get her brothers. When I was getting Tiernan out of his crib, Kira was telling me what i thought was a dream she had had as she often does this in the mornings.

She was telling me that Quigly had blood on his throat and that his tongue was sticking out of his mouth, then she said, "Come here and see." I still thought she was telling me about a nightmare so i followed her into her room to comfort her, she handed me a toy backpack that she had opened.

Quigly was inside, dead.

She had gotten him out of his cage and was playing with him, and she pried his mouth open and stuck her finger in his mouth and he bit it, so she squeezed him to make him let go.

I feel like I'm going to throw up.

[SailleSkinklover]

MY GODs, Luce, I am sooooo Sorry! Poor Quigs! I felt sick from reading your post.
All I can suggest is to move any/all your small, relatively vulnerable animals into your bedroom so that if your daughter comes in in the night, you can at least hear her.
It sounds like she sleepwalks, and/or is too young to be around such critters without direct supervision. I am sure this is such a stupid question, but have you sat down with her and actually explained the animals and what is good for them, and how they are? I'm thinking you did after the cake incident.
anyway, I am so saddened to hear about poor Quigs. You and Quigs are in my thoughts.

[Bird_Brain]

Sorry to hear about Quigs. Maybe look into a cage that will lock or able to put a lock on.

[Lucifer_Spades]

Quigs was my only small animal.

She doesn't sleepwalk, she just likes to get up and sneak around doing the things she knows are forbidden, she also got into the fridge and dragged the leftover birthday cake (yes another friggin cake)to her brothers room I did the same thing when I was her age (4) and even when I was older.

She is at my moms right now as I am too upset to deal with her fairly, I know she didn't mean to and yes she is too young to be around the pets when she is unsupervised, which is part of the reason we latch her door at night. We started doing it when she was 2 and she got out of her room and wanted to "pet" our betta so she fished around in his tank till she caught him and she sat on the couch petting him till he died. We explained what had happened then, and she is given constant reminders not to play with the pets unless mom or Auntie Jen (my roomie) are with her, and constant reminders to be gentle and she knows everything a 4 year old can understand about caring for the pets we have.

I just forgot to latch the door it last night.

The problem I am running into with her is the same one my mom had with me emotionally she is a 4 year old, intellectually she tests out to be more advanced than the avg 7 year old, intellectually she knows what she should and shouldn't do, emotionally she wants things she shouldn't have.

In short she is too smart for her own good, she is smart enough to figure out how to get what she wants without getting caught most of the time, but not emotionally mature enough to understand right and wrong on a consistent basis.

I am trying to find some good resourses to help me to explain this at her level, unfourtunatly I am having a hard time finding a way to explain to her that because of her actions, even if she didn't mean to, Quigly is dead. Of course it doesn't help that I'm still trying to deal with the shock myself.

Quigs was part of my family I'm sure most people on here can understand the fact that I am reacting in much the same way I would if one of my kids died. No I don't think he was more important or even as important as my children but he and all my pets come in at a close second.

[Tattoo]

So profoundly sorry to hear about Quig's untimely death. I'm sure there are not many words of consolation at a time like this. Our thoughts are with you.

[SailleSkinklover]

Yeah, I was a little terror as well. My mother constantly battled to get me into dresses, down from trees, the roof, other high places.
So I understand that end for sure.
And I do totally understand that Quigs was a dear family member. You shouldn't feel bad or guilty for grieving for him! That pain is very real, and very understandable. My heart hurts, because I can only think of how I'd feel if it had been Chuff (or any of my critters! I love them all very much!)

I also think you are being very wise in recognizing that you are too upset to be fair with Kira right now. For the trauma you've been through, you are handling it very well.

So let the tears come, don't feel guilty for feeling them and when you are ready, be glad for the time you had together with Quigs.


(On a sillier/lighter/healthier note, perhaps you should ban future birthday cake from the house! Sugar isn't a good thing for a hyper-smart, active kid! )

[Lucifer_Spades]

Yeah, I was a little terror as well. My mother constantly battled to get me into dresses, down from trees, the roof, other high places.
So I understand that end for sure.
And I do totally understand that Quigs was a dear family member. You shouldn't feel bad or guilty for grieving for him! That pain is very real, and very understandable. My heart hurts, because I can only think of how I'd feel if it had been Chuff (or any of my critters! I love them all very much!)

I also think you are being very wise in recognizing that you are too upset to be fair with Kira right now. For the trauma you've been through, you are handling it very well.

So let the tears come, don't feel guilty for feeling them and when you are ready, be glad for the time you had together with Quigs.


(On a sillier/lighter/healthier note, perhaps you should ban future birthday cake from the house! Sugar isn't a good thing for a hyper-smart, active kid! )

Thanks.

And yes I think all birthday cake wil be eaten at the birthday or tossed immediatly, I don't like cake any way.

[Drew]

im really sorry for your loss man.. youve been a support with my own IJ from day 1....
my thoughts and prayers are with you..if only you were near im willing to give you my Tanny to cheer you up.

[Lucifer_Spades]

im really sorry for your loss man.. youve been a support with my own IJ from day 1....
my thoughts and prayers are with you..if only you were near im willing to give you my Tanny to cheer you up.

Thanks, best watch it though i may end up near you when the Hubby gets stationed, I may take you up on that offer.


No, i don't think i will get another skink anytime real soon. I will definatly want another later but I got Quigs on the spur of the moment because i liked his personality and was attatched before i got him.

I will probably get another from one of the breeders on here when i do, or maybe by that time I will be able to talk the hubby into moving to Oz and then I'll get me the western I have wanted since I first saw a pic of one.

Either way it's way too soon, of course I thought it would be a long time before I got another cat when my old one, Tiggers, died (natural causes thank goodness, she was 21) and ended up with 2 kittens 6 months later and wouldn't trade them for the world.

[Lucifer_Spades]

Between this today and Bastian dying yesterday, with all the stress I'm already dealing with, with my husband being in BCT. I think I need a vacation.

[SailleSkinklover]

OK, I'm a reeb, what's BCT?
ALso, I think you are wise to perhaps not get another smaller critter until your daughter is significantly older and better able to comprehend what she did. This is not just for the safety of the animals, but also for your peace of mind. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate, and I know when the time is right, another critter in need will find its way to you.
A vacation sounds like a good thing for you right now.

[Lucifer_Spades]

BCT= Basic Combat Training, my husband is in the Army.

I was given Quigs by him as my Mother's Day gift this year, he knew I had wanted one since I was in 6th grade and that I had fallen in love with Quigs at the store.

[Lucifer_Spades]

I was planning to post the newest Pictures of him today so I might as well go ahead. We'll call it his memorial, actually now that I think about it I should talk to Zach about having a memorialforum or something so people can post pictures of their skinks who have passed.








Yes, This is Quigs taking a snooze in my lap.





You can't see me.


He shed the day after I took all those other pictures. Shiny new coat.

[Brigget]

OK my way i know isnt for everyone but i have an eight year old that got our snake out when she was 6 and let him go in the house he was gone for a month and a half i thought he was dead. I let her know that even though it was an accident that sonny was part of our family and if she ever touched him without supervision again i would tear her tail up. She knows the switch is nearby and even though i dont have to use it everytime the fact that i will use it keeps her from doing things wrong. maybe you need to speak to someone cause if you have to lock her in the room to keep her out of trouble then it sounds too far i believe in punishment of some sort. sternly tell her she made the pet go away forever and for that she needs to be in time out and force her to stay there. This sounds like a boundary problem. My daughter minds well and even though i know most people wont be as strict as me i will definantly switch her legs if she even says she wants to hurt an animal. Thats my view sorry if i offended anyone who doesnt believe the same.

[mom22wins]

Luce,

I can't begin to say how deeply sad I feel for you right now. As a mom of three boys (8, 8 and 6yrs) I worried about things like this as well.

I hope you find a way to talk to her. And you don't blame yourself for not locking the door. Things happen, however tragic. We learn and move on.

I'll send warm thoughts your way.

Take care,

Diane

[Lucifer_Spades]

Kira does behave very well most of the time, i even get compliments on her and my other two kids' behavior.

Unfourtuanatly for me she is much like i was and time-outs, spankings, the corner, taking away privledges, none of them work (they didn't on me when i was young either). She has no fear of reprisals, I often wonder if she has any fear of anything at all.

She has already been punished more than enough because when I found Quigs I lost it a bit too much and smacked her 4 times, hard enough that i bruised my hand, I relized that I had gone too far and that was why I sent her to my moms until I could cool down enough to be rational.

I do not make it a habit to spank unless the kids are doing something really dangerous because when I was a kid and my mom had to deal with the same behavior with me (I killed our hamster Romeo when I was 3) she would often go to far and I was beaten much more than a young child ever deserves, no matter what they did. She once chased me around my bedroom for an hour with a piece of lathe when i was nine, because she thought i had hurt her bird. I have too much fear in me that I could end up doing that and if I reached that point I would want my kids taken away from me.

I do not subscribe to the philosiphy of NEVER spank a child, but I can not countinace it going beyond swatting the butt, and then only when they are doing something truly dangerous. I will never take anything more than my hand to a child, and after today I won't allow even that.

I would rather she be latched into her room at night than for me to lose it and really hurt her.

Killing Quigly was a bad thing, but she did not intend to hurt him, she was a 4 year old kid who made the mistake of putting her finger in an animals mouth and when he hurt her she did what she thought she had to to make him stop.

It was an accident, and she will be made to see what she did and will not be allowed to touch any of the animals again for a long time, even with supervision. She knows she is not supposed to sneak out at night, but so did I and no amount of spanking or any other punishment would stop me from doing what I wanted, I always had to learn the hard way and now she has, She loved Quigs, she always introduced him as,"This is my friend, the blue tongued skink, he's a lizard, his name is Quigly."

She loved when she got to pet him and when he would lick her hand or nose, and in one of the pictures you can see her hand as she reached in to pet him.

What works as a deterent for some does not work for all, and while my son will stop if you tell him Kira will not, she will look at you, grin, and you have to make her stop, by taking her away and hiding what she wants where she can't get it, which usually means it must go outside as there is almost nowhere in the house that she can't reach.

Kira will learn, I will explain what she did and we will bury Quigs. She will be told that if she ever touches one of the pets again when an adult is not watching her the animals will all have to go to another home. This I think will work for her because she, like me also, loves her animal friends more than any toy she could have.

[LittleFoot]

I am so sorry about Quigly

[PICJESS]

Eeeesh...I'm so sorry for your loss Luce. I got sick to my stomach reading about poor Quigly. We will miss hearing about him on here, as he was well known amongst the forum. I'm sure Kira feels terrible for what she did. Thanks for posting those last few pics of him, he sure was handsome.

[Fatal_S]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that Kira didn't mean to hurt Quigs, and she'll learn, but maybe locks would be a good idea. I was in shock when I read your post, and I can't imagine how you feel. I woke up in tears this morning because I had a nightmare in which my younger sister tried to take Pryce to school and ended up causing some horrible damage when dropping him. I woke up and know Pryce is alright, and it makes me sad that your not having a nightmare. My thoughts are with you, Kira and Quigs.

[mewzic-7123]

(sigh) quigly sure was a beauty, too bad his life ended like it did, but im sure you will move on. im sorry for your loss and hope for the best onwards