Parent Issues with BTS

[kman1247]

I have battled with my parents again and agian each time i have given great info because of the hours i spent researching.My dad's closing argument was "were not getting it because i personally don't want it in this house and besides what are you going to do with it?" Well guys i'm stumped , got any sugestions?

[Tyler]

Work on Mom when Dad is out

[Fatal_S]

Three years ago my mother said if I ever brought a snake or lizard into our house, I would be kicked out. A year ago my parents bought me Cow, and then after summer training I bought Pryce, then bought 2 tanimbars, Wocket and Trikks from California. Next step is the building of 8 setups ^.^

How did I do it?

First, I know that my step-dad doesn't really care one way or the other, so I worked on mom, as she had the say on wether it was or was not going to happen. Know who needs to say yes, then find the best way to di it. This may mean working on them, or working on the other to get at them. It's different for different people. Cam would have listened to me with half an ear, shrugged, then done nothing. Mom obviously had to authorize this!

Constant information to start with. Every few days, when mom seemed to be talking with me, I'd bring up how I'd learned that BTS urine is almost totally water, or how they give birth to live, independant young. Whenever we'd eat something, I'd bring up how good that food is for the skinks, such as cooked chicken, or oppositely, how that food is considered bad for them. When in a pet store for a dog treat, I'd talk about how the heating rocks have caused major burns to lizards because they've been known to heat unevenly. I also talked about the different kinds, and how some cost thousands of dollars! That suprised her, and got some intrest. Basically, anytime I could put in some BTS talk, I would. And if I could get mom to ask questions, to actually take a small intrest, I was winning. Now I made sure not to annoy too much, but it was a constant, 3 year endevor.

Talking about where you could get these BTS from is good sometimes. I would explain how getting an animal from the site breeders meant that the animal would be healthy, eating, and how I could see what the parents are like and so on. Then I'd explain how pet-store BTS could have issues like mites, or parasites, or an RI. This would show that I'd done my research and it would often get some questions.

This site was a great help, not only for info, but as an openning. "So-and-so on BTS.net was talking about this on the OT forum". Or else someone would post an awesome picture (it happens a lot), and I could possibly show it to mom, especially ones that made them show personality. "This BTS likes to grab grapes and run off to hide them, unless it sees another nearby, in which case it eats the first quickly and grabs the other then runs" (Wocket). Amusing stories make these guys seem like the cute guys they are, instead of scary, scaly beasts.

I also spoke of it with my grandparents and great-aunt, because while they disliked the idea, they'd ask a few questions, then miraculously bring it up with mom during some conversation. Great openning for lots of information, as well as a "Well I'm hoping to get one eventually, if I'm allowed. I've even got it priced out, and I have the money." Now this isn't the time to get permission, but it brings it up for later ^.^

Next step was explaining how easy it could be. I had everything priced out, and made sure to insert that information into conversation. I also had most if not all of the money ready, so I was ready to buy when able. During breeding season I would talk about the babies available, how adorable they were, show pictures, everything. Right before breeding season I'd bring up how the babies would be popping soon, etc, as these are the best times!

I also did lots of extra things around the house, kept it clean, took care of my sisters, generally made myself look good and responsible. It seems to make them feel good about you, or guilty that you're doing so much work, both of which work. Also, don't ask for many other things, make the BTS your #1 want, so they know exactly what it is that will make you happy.

Now Cow was bought because while exploring a pet store, me and my sisters saw her, and showed mom how pretty she was, and what neat "MOO" markings she had. I then went through the whole routine above again, in breif, for snakes. My sisters also liked her, so that was helpful. One day they just agreed (the day the store was closed...-.-')! The next day we were there, buying the whole pre-planned setup and Cow came home with me!

Pryce was bought because after all 3 years of pestering, I just happened to find a beautiful northern BTS in good health in Steinbach, MB during my summer pilot training. I talked about him all the time in my phone calls, and made sure mom knew how amazing this find was! I came home, worked on the setup, and then mom just said go for it. I did, and brought home my cuddle-skink!

The babies came next, as they'd been in planning before summer. Mom knew how much I loved tannies, and how rare these guys are, especially the yellow. I also plan to breed them, so I made it seem like I could get these, then get more, and work on breeding (which I plan to in future years). It took a lot of work, but we finally got it all sorted out, and I got to bring my babies home!

There it is. My entire Buy-A-BTS endevor. It's long, and tedious, and takes skill and perseverance, but if you truly want one, you'll keep it at ^.^ Hope my giant speil helps in some way!

[NomadOfTheHills]

I asked my mom if I could get a "small" lizard. Came home with a 12" baby

[herp boy]

Just keep asking hey can i get one of these guys it took me 4 years to get my mom to say yes and another for my dad to say ya. and another to get one lol.

[herp boy]

The way i got my dad to say yes is when i went camping with him and he was halfasleep lol after that i asked him in the after noon if it is still up for the skink and he said ya lol.

[brunetteoctober]

I asked my mom if I could get a "small" lizard. Came home with a 12" baby

12" can be small compared to some other lizards.

[NomadOfTheHills]

Thats why I said "small," and not small lol.

[Zach]

Holy crap, fatal!


I've always liked the "if you love me...."

[Leigh]

, sorry to hear about the parents, it can be hard to pursuade people.

Have you tried the "DONT tell me your scared of it dad" approach.

Go for the,"I promise I wont ask for anything else" tactic.

Get an enclosure built in the shed/garage/outhouse, that way it wont actually be in the house.

Tell him he doesnt have to look after it so he wouldnt need to worry about that.

They are GREAT for the garden as they will eat snails/bugs/ grubs, that attack his prize winning fruit/veg patch

Good luck, you may need it!!!

[kman1247]

That would be Great! But, in this case my dads the big decision maker in this one. and since i live in ohio the climate changes so fast i don't think i can build an add on to the side of the house.

[Leigh]

Then the ,I'll work around the house for the money to buy him,and save any pocket money(if you get any)angle.

One last thing, go for the direct approach." What do I have to do, to get you to change your mind"if he comes up with something impossible, try it anyway to show your comitment.

[kman1247]

what about the "i'm not having that thing inside this house." problem?

[kman1247]

BTW you were a big help fatal thx alot!!!

[kman1247]

OMG, i need cute pictures cause the ones i showed mom, she just said uuugh they really do have blue tongues! Jesus christ!!! Good pictures would be great

[Shadowfax]

My mom had a "no reptiles or rodents" as pets rule when I was growing up. I just waited till I had my own place then bought a rodent AND a reptile!

[NomadOfTheHills]

I used guilt, for some of my things.

Like, "Mom, I'm going to school for WILDLIFE BIOLOGY, by not letting me have [insert various animal, or animal book (strange right? my mom isn't a big reader, and never liked my book collection, weird?)], you are hindering my future. Thats like not letting Jenna (my sister) have ART SUPPLIES, since she wants to be an artist!

Also, tell them its your money (it is isn't it?), and that you earned it (you did didn't you?), and that they can go weeks without food, so you never have to worry about vacations.

[kman1247]

Respoonding to shadowfax: I can't wait that long!lol
Responding to Nomad:They say "yes but whose house is it going to stay in?" and they dont want it in the house sooooo i'm pretty much screwed but my b day is coming up and maybe i'll work arouund the house for a long time until then and that'l probably be the only thing i want for my b day.

[Fatal_S]

Kris, as a suggestion, don't ask for the skink, ask for permission to get one yourself. Or even just ask for them to seriously think about allowing it, that's all you want. This tends to work well, as it doesn't involve them waisting their money on it.

Second, if your really want it, don't give them any other options on what to get you for your birthday. If they have another option, they'll probably go for it instead.

[Zach]

I used guilt, for some of my things.

Like, "Mom, I'm going to school for WILDLIFE BIOLOGY, by not letting me have [insert various animal, or animal book (strange right? my mom isn't a big reader, and never liked my book collection, weird?)], you are hindering my future. Thats like not letting Jenna (my sister) have ART SUPPLIES, since she wants to be an artist!

Also, tell them its your money (it is isn't it?), and that you earned it (you did didn't you?), and that they can go weeks without food, so you never have to worry about vacations.

A brilliant example!